Hari igihe uhura n’umuntu utigeze utekereza, ariko mu kanya gato ugatangira kumva hari ikintu gihindutse muri wowe. Umutima ugatangira gutera ukundi, ibitekerezo bikamwuzura, ndetse n’ibyo wari usanzwe ukora bikagenda bihinduka utabizi. Ese ibyo ni ibisanzwe? Cyangwa ni urukundo rutangiye kukwiyereka? Burya urukundo ntiruvuga, ariko rurigaragaza. Rwigaragariza mu mpinduka z’umubiri, mu mitekerereze no mu buryo witwara kandi akenshi ntubimenya ako kanya.
Abahanga mu by’imitekerereze n’ubuzima bagaragaje ko hari ibimenyetso bifatika bigaragaza ko umuntu yinjiye mu rukundo, nubwo yaba atarabimenya neza.
Muri iyi nkuru, tugiye kurebera hamwe ibimenyetso bikwereka ko wageze mu nyanja y’urukundo kandi ushobora gusanga nawe byarakubayeho utarabimenya.
Ingingo zinyuranye zikwereka ko uri mu rukundo.
- Ububabare buragabanyuka bwaba ubwo ku mubiri cyangwa mu ntekerezo
Umunezero usimbura uburibwe no kubabara
Nubwo uba utazi ngo bizarangira bite ariko iyo urukundo rukiri rushyashya rutuma utumva uburibwe.
Ubushakashatsi bwasohotse mu kinyamakuru the New York Times, bwakozwe n’abashakashatsi bo muri Stanford University bwagaragaje ko urukundo ari umwe mu miti yarwanya ububabare kuko rutuma ubwonko butabasha kubwumva.
Ubu bushakashatsi bwerekanye ko ku bantu 40% barebye ifoto y’uwo bakunda byatumye batongera kumva uburibwe bworoheje (nko kuribwa umutwe cyangwa umunaniro, no kubabara mu nda) naho 15% byatumye batumva uburibwe bukomeye (nk’ubuza nyuma yo gushya cyangwa gukora impanuka idakabije cyane ariko nanone ikomeye).
2. Umera nk’uwasinze
Ntabwo ari inzoga, ahubwo urukundo warusomye ushira inyota
Burya nimusohokana wanywa rimwe ukumva ryakugezemo, riba rirengana ahubwo ni ibyiyumviro, amarangamutima biba bigusindishije.
Nkuko CNN ibivuga iyo uri mu rukundo hakorwa umusemburo wa oxytocin ku bwinshi nuko ukagutera kwisanzura, kwirekura ndetse no kudatinya ibi bikaba bikunze kuranga abatangiye gusinda. Abashakashatsi bo muri Birmingham university bagaragaje ko nubwo alukolo na oxytocin bitaba mu gace kamwe k’ubwonko ariko ingaruka zabyo kuwo biriho zirangana. Ndetse oxytocin uko izamuka ituma ukora ibidasanzwe cyane cyane iyo uri hafi y’uwo wihebeye (uzabimenya neza hagize ikibi cyenda kumubaho uko ubyitwaramo).
3. Unanirwa kuvuga
Ibimenyetso n’ibikorwa bisimbura amagambo
Uku kunanirwa kuvuga hazamo kudedemanga ndetse no gusobwa kuvuga bikanga, ukabura amagambo ukoresha. Niba wagirango biterwa na epinephrine burya wibeshyaga kuko ntiyizamura ahubwo ni urukundo rutuma bikubaho cyane cyane iyo uwo ukunda akugezeho agutunguye bikaba akarusho agusanze mu bantu benshi.
4. Ubira ibyuya
Nibyo iyo uwo ukunda akuri hafi mu biganza no mu birenge haratutubikana ndetse hari n’abatemba amazi pee.
Nkuko tubikesha Thenakedscientists.com urukundo rukora kuri monoamines ibi bikaba ibinyabutabire byohereza ubutumwa mu bice binyuranye by’umubiri nuko bigatuma aho umubiri urangirira (intoki n’ibirenge) habira ibyuya. Niba ushaka kumenya ko nawe rwamuzonze, nibikubaho uzamukore mu biganza wumve uko iwe bimeze.
5. Iyo umubonye bitunguranye uyoberwa niba umusuhuza cyangwa wiruka
Musuhuze cyangwa niruke
Wenda muhuriye mu nzira cyangwa se umubonye ahantu utacyekaga. Utangira kwibaza uti ese musuhuze nkomeze ibyanjye cyangwa nigendere nubundi ntiyambonye? Ibi wibaza ni ukubera urukundo rwakubujije amahwemo kuko rudahari ntiwabyibazaho.
Nkuko tubibona muri cosmopolitan , urukundo rugushyira mu gihe kimeze nk’icya stress mbese nka cya gihe ubona ugeze ku iteme ukibaza niba uryambuka cyangwa unyerera ukagwamo. Gusa hano tukugiriye inama jya ugenda umugwemo niyo mutatindana akanyamuneza uzahakura kazagusunika amasaha.
6. Nta gusonza
Kurya ntibikiri ngombwa
Bajya bavuga ngo abageni baba barebana akana ko mu jisho nuko bakibagirwa kurya. Si bo gusa burya n’undi wese waguye mu nyanja y’urukundo ibyo kurya nta gaciro biba bifite imbere ye aka ya ndirimbo ngo siribateri ntakirya ntakiryama asigaye atunzwe n’ifoto y’uwo akunda.
Urubuga eHarmony rugaragaza ko ibimenyetso bya mbere by’uko winjiye mu rukundo harimo ikizibakanwa kitazanywe n’ubundi burwayi ahubwo gitewe nuko ibitekerezo byibereye ahandi, ku wo wakunze. Niyo muri kumwe, kurya no kunywa nta gaciro mubiha ahubwo ibiganiro biba bihagije kandi mukumva muranyuzwe.
- Uruhu rwo mu maso ruracya
Uruhu rutemba itoto
Iyo wageze mu rukundo usubira ibwana, isura igacya, wakisiga amavuta noneho akagufata. Erega n’iminkanyari iragabanyuka kuko uba uhora mu munezero.
Urukundo ni urugendo rudasanzwe rutangira bucece ariko rukigaragaza mu buryo butandukanye. Ibi bimenyetso twabonye ni bimwe mu byerekana ko umutima wawe wamaze guhitamo, nubwo wowe ubwawe waba utarabimenya neza.
Niba wisanze muri ibi, ntukabyirengagize umva umutima wawe, ariko unawuyobore neza. Kuko urukundo rushobora kukuzamura cyane, ariko nanone rushobora kukwigisha byinshi.
